Last Christmas while I was visiting part of my family in Texas, my sister rented
a movie that she thought I would “love”. She, her husband and all
three of her kids had seen it twice before and just loved it. They thought it
was one of the funniest movies they had seen, so they rented it again so I could
see it too. As
we ate popcorn and the movie played, they all laughed hysterically as I merely
chuckled. I didn’t understand how they could find it so funny. And
of course, they didn’t understand how I couldn’t. I remember
going to sleep that night feeling a bit disconnected and somewhat sad. How
could it be that we all watched exactly the same thing at the same time
on the same TV, and we had two totally different views of it? The
answer I believe is - perspective. My
sister and I are only 15 months apart. We grew up in the same
home with the same parents and siblings, were taught the same
values, went to the same schools, ate the same meals, went on
the same vacations, often had the same haircuts and even shared
some clothes for 17 years. And yet, as forty-something women,
we are two very different people. How
could this be? What happens in our lives to make us separate
from others, even though we have shared experiences and even
though we are still ultimately connected? Where does the
connection begin, and where does it end? Our
lives, and more specifically, our viewpoints, are the
sum total of every experience we have encountered. They
are the sum of each person we have met, each book read,
each movie watched, each conversation had, each job done,
each step taken, each mountain climbed, each slice of
pizza eaten - the list goes on. Even in the same room
with the same people watching the same movie - we see
it through the eyes and brain of the person that we are.
For each of us, there truly is no other way. Even
when we try to “see it through the eyes of
another”, and we think we know how they might
feel, at some level we must realize that we are still
seeing it through our own eyes, and projecting our
own views, as we think they might see them. As Bijan
Anjomi, author of Effortless Prosperity says, “I
do not know the real meaning of what I see.” If
we could simply step back and be open to understand
that even that which we think is the same, is
perhaps a different experience for another person
- and then allow the difference - we might more
readily accept that we truly are all connected
and equal and the same - only different. Now,
that’s Powerful!
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